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“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
Gwen tasted Tarbell’s bitterness from across her desk. She’d made a mistake. She’d feared Tarbell’s performance review
would turn adversarial, or to be more exact, that Tarbell would turn
adversarial. Now she’d incited him. She knew it wouldn’t take much to set him off
and she blamed herself for this downward turn of events. She thought if she catalogued his positive
traits before his shortcomings, it wouldn’t sound so bad. A spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go
down and all that. Now, she saw the
glaring error of her approach. It looked
to him as if she’d built him up only to slap him down. She should have given it to him
straight. No doubt the direct approach
would have still drawn his ire, but it also would have gotten the issue out in
the open earlier.
“Steve, it’s not like that.”
“Stephen. Only my
friends call me Steve.”
Gwen trod carefully.
She couldn’t be seen kowtowing to Tarbell on this point. If she began calling him Stephen and it got
around the water cooler that he had insisted on it, it would make her look
weak. She’d never had Tarbell’s respect,
but she couldn’t afford to lose the respect of her other subordinates. At the same time, she had to respect his
wishes. For now, she wouldn’t call him
anything.
“This isn’t personal.”
He leaned back in his seat, crossed his arms and legs and
twisted his mouth into a sneer. “Isn’t
it?”
“No, it’s not. I have
to follow strict criteria for performance evaluations. I couldn’t make it personal even if I wanted
to.”
“Bullshit.”
The expletive split the air like a gunshot. Gwen glanced outside her office. The outburst hadn’t caught anyone’s ear.
“Steve, that’s enough.”
“Stephen,” he corrected.
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him to grow up, but
she bit the remark back. She’d only be
perpetuating his juvenile behavior. This
review was on the verge of getting away from her. If she followed Tarbell down this road, it
would speak more to her poor management skills than to his shortcomings. She paused to give them both a moment to cool
off.
Tarbell uncurled his long-limbed body, leaned forward and
pressed a fist down on the edge of the desk.
Gwen fought the urge to back away.
“Why don’t we cut the crap and be honest for a second. We both know why you’re doing this. You want me out because you know I should
have gotten the promotion instead of you.
I have more experience and seniority.
What do you have? Nothing, but
they still gave you the job. Call it
affirmative action or sexual equality or equal opportunity employment, but you
only got the job because you’re a woman.
I should be sitting in that seat, not you. I should be telling you you’ve failed to meet
the standards expected of this company.
Christ. What a joke.”
There it was. One of
them had finally said it. Tarbell’s
attitude had never been great, but Gwen could pretty much track his performance
deterioration from the day she’d gotten the promotion to Manager of Quality
Assurance six months ago. They’d both
gone for the position along with four outside candidates. Despite Tarbell’s experience and years with
the company, they’d chosen Gwen. It
wasn’t just because of Tarbell’s reputation.
Gwen had made an instant impact at Pace Pharmaceuticals since her
arrival eighteen months earlier. She’d
grasped the firm’s concepts quickly and patched holes in the systems that
management knew existed, but had been unable to fix. Tarbell relished interdepartmental battles,
whereas she was a team player. These
elements won her the promotion.
“What’s it like to be sitting where you are based solely on
possessing a vagina?”
Christ, this guy was a first class asshole. She deserved her promotion. She squashed the knee-jerk need to defend
herself and bottled her disgust.
“I think this evaluation is at an end.”
Tarbell leaned back in his chair with a smug expression
plastered across his face. The son of a
bitch felt he’d won a round in some prize fight that didn’t exist. Gwen saw no value in pointing this out to
him. It would have no effect. As much as it would be a big managerial
feather in her cap if she turned Tarbell around, succeeding where others had
failed, it wasn’t worth it. The guy
would keep acting out until he gave Pace cause enough to fire him.
Gwen slid a copy of Tarbell’s evaluation across the
desk. “You’ve received a failure to meet
expectations, resulting in a number of items which you must complete to remove
the substandard rating. You’re welcome
to challenge the rating, but you have to file your complaint with Human
Resources by next Wednesday.”
Tarbell made no effort to take the evaluation. He seemed content to bask in his own glory.
“Is there anything else you’d like to say?”
Tarbell shrugged and grabbed the evaluation. “You’re a class act, Gwen,” he said on his
way out.
Gwen remained stoic until he passed out of view of her
office window, then released a breath. Damn
that man, she thought. She shouldn’t
have let him get to her, but he was so damn infuriating. At least it was over. Done.
It was his problem to solve, not hers, and she let the stress of the
encounter bleed out of her. She was
breathing hard and felt sweat cooling against her skin under her arms and down
her back. She needed to freshen up. She still had two more evaluations this
afternoon.
She made a beeline to the restroom. Thankfully, no one occupied it. She could do without any chitchat. She slipped off her suit jacket and frowned
at the sweat rings that had turned her white blouse transparent.
“Shit,” she murmured.
She locked herself into a stall and dabbed under her arms
with a wad of toilet paper. She’d have
to keep her jacket on for the rest of the afternoon, a small penalty under the
circumstances. She gave her makeup the
once over before returning to her office.
The remainder of the afternoon passed swiftly and without
incident. Her two remaining evaluations
helped settle her. Lauren and David
received excellent reviews and were in and out of her office in less than an
hour. Swift and efficient. A little too swift and efficient. She finished up David’s evaluation just after
three thirty, leaving Tarbell ninety minutes to retaliate against her for his
perceived injustice.
But the retaliation didn’t come. Tarbell passed her office twice, never making
eye contact, and it didn’t look like he had shared his evaluation results with
anyone either. No one gave her any
sideways looks. For all his slurs and
insults, maybe she’d gotten through to him.
Acting like an ass in the workplace wasn’t acceptable and if he expected
to keep his job, he had to change his ways.
Score one to the Gwenster.
The evaluations had screwed with her day, putting her
behind. Even if she worked without
interruption, she wasn’t going to get caught up. She could either pull a late one or come in
early. She was leaning towards coming in
early the next day, just to put this shitty day behind her, but she found her
rhythm reviewing deviation reports and decided to finish them. She left a message on the machine at home for
Paul to expect her home late.
Five o’clock came and
the usual exodus made its way to the parking lot. As the roar of engines died down from outside
and the whine from the HVAC overtook the chatter in the cube farm, she realized
her mistake. Tarbell worked late every
night. They’d end up alone with each
other, which would give him the perfect opportunity to ring the bell for round
two. But when she went to the copy room
to collect a report, she found that he'd already left. No doubt he was eager to draw a line under
today too. His car was gone from the
parking lot, which confirmed his oddly early departure. She was somewhat pleased with herself. She’d survived her first major managerial
test and confirmed as much when Deborah Langan from Human Resources looked in
on her way out.
“How was Steve?”
“True to form.”
Deborah laughed.
“That good, huh?”
Gwen smiled.
“At least you don’t have to do this for another year. See you in the morning.”
Gwen stayed until seven before calling it a day. Besides the security guard at reception, she
was last to leave. As she pushed the
door open, the rain rushed to meet her.
It had been coming down hard for the last hour and had taken the heat
out of the fall day. Of course, she’d
left her umbrella on the backseat of her car.
She sprinted as hard as she could in her heels across the
parking lot. She’d landed a near perfect
parking spot behind the trash enclosure which kept her sprint short. She had her keys out of her purse and
deactivated the alarm the moment her Subaru came into view. She grabbed the door handle and tugged it
open, but it slammed shut again with the force of her body being driven against
the car.
Confusion intervened, but the knife blade jammed up against
her throat brought events into sharp focus.
Someone had leapt out from the trash enclosure and slammed her into the
side of her car. He’d sandwiched her
between his body and the Subaru. The
impact, besides driving the air from her lungs, had forced her onto her toes,
making it impossible to push back. He
snaked an arm around her chest and grabbed the Subaru’s roof rack to keep her
pinned in place. It was an unnecessary
move. The blade’s tip pressing hard into
the soft underside of her chin kept her in check. She could kick and scream, but unless someone
put a gun to this asshole’s head, she couldn’t beat an upward stab. She let the tension out of her body to let him
know she wouldn’t be giving him any trouble.
He was welcome to the car and the contents of her purse.
“It’s okay,” she said.
“I’m not resisting. I’m not
resisting.” She hoped her words would
come out strong and calm, but fear inserted a tremor.
Just to show who was boss, he shoved against her to
reestablish his hold on her. The rain
coating the car soaked through her blouse.
Its chill forced an involuntary shiver.
Her assailant read something into the shiver and
chuckled. She recognized the voice. She examined the white-knuckled hand grasping
the roof rack.
“Steve?”
“I told you, only my friends call me Steve.”
Anger boiled up inside Gwen, but the knife at her throat
kept it from spilling over. This was no
longer a workplace war of words. She
felt Tarbell’s intent in every one of his taut muscles.
“What do you want, Stephen?”
“Respect at last. Who
knew it took a knife to get it?”
He’d snapped. She’d
pushed him over the edge. She dreaded
re-asking her question, but it couldn’t go unanswered.
“What do you want, Stephen?”
He said nothing.
Raindrops splashed down on her face.
The puddle at her feet seeped into her open-toed sandals and the tips of
her toes ground against the asphalt.
“Is this all it takes to get some satisfaction—a knife?” He jerked the knife just enough to draw
blood. Nothing extreme, just a pinprick.
“Stephen, please take the knife away.”
He constricted her with his body, crushing her against her
car. She felt her ribs flex against the
door pillar.
“Giving the orders again.
You can’t resist, can you?” There
was a sing-song quality to his voice. The
son of bitch was enjoying this.
“Okay, you’re in charge,” Gwen said, trying to sound calm.
“Have you submitted my evaluation to Human Resources?”
“No.”
“Good, I want you to change it. You’re going to say I’m an exemplary employee
and all that managerial bullshit. Make
me sound great. Deal?”
He was crazy. Had to
be. He was assaulting her with a deadly
weapon and for what—a positive evaluation?
He had to know he couldn’t get away with it.
He jabbed her with the knife again. “Deal?” he insisted.
She didn’t answer.
“Just know that if you don’t do what I tell you, you’re
going have an intimate encounter with Mr. Sharpie here, you got that?”
“Yes.”
“So you’ll do it?”
The reply he wanted wouldn’t come. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. This was 21st century
America. People didn’t succeed under the
power of a weapon. But Stephen Tarbell
had tonight. It disgusted her to comply.
“Yes, I’ll do it.”
“Good, Gwen, good,” he cooed. “You’ve got until Friday.”
He released his hold on her.
Without the pressure of his body holding her, she staggered back, lost
her balance and dropped to the ground, landing roughly in a puddle. Her skirt had ridden up, exposing more leg
than she wanted the world to see. She
pulled herself into a fetal position and sobbed hard with the rain beating down
on her. When she finally looked up,
Stephen Tarbell was gone.
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